THE CASE OF THE WEEPING SOUL

I want to tell you a story. I would write this story as a lesson to all of you. To protect his identity, I would call him S

THE CASE OF THE WEEPING SOUL

S was working part time in his father's shop, mending it until the clock strikes 4 in the evening. A tall adolescent guy wearing a red cap enters the shop. He smiled at S and walked straight behind S.

"Moved aside S, it's my shift now." He said. "Why don't you enjoy yourself and take a break. Go and watch those kids playing S4 League(an online shooter game)"

"Okay Ames." S smiled back.

S moved to the back, passing through the green divider that separates the counter from the computer booths. A cyber cafe would always be like any other cyber cafes. It would always be as loud as any other.

S was sitting at the corner, enjoying a shared-sort-of-thrill by watching the customers of his father's shop playing games on the computer and enjoying themselves. Bits by bits they were engulfed in the world of cybernetics and losing their grip on reality. Playing games enables them to let go of all their worldly troubles. Their homework, family and personal problems all gone in a blink of an eye.

As S was standing a midst the noisy crowd, he was approached by a boy about 4 inches taller than him and having a strong built body. The boy approaches him with a smile and looked at him as if inspecting him from top to bottom. He sneered at S.

"Hey, your the owner's son right?" He asked

"Yea."

"Could you show me where's the toilet?"

"Umm" S hesitated. "It's at the back room, through that door but only authorized personnel allowed."

"Nevermind," The guy responded "How about you escort me to the back. That way, I could go to the toilet"

S heard no evil in his words and agreed to do so. That was his biggest mistake.

As soon as they reached in front of the door of the toilet, S was pushed inside. Before he could shout, his mouth was covered. What happened next was malicious and evil that only animals would have done as what John did.

S was too weak to fight and so he was a victim.

 S was only 13. However, S was raped. A guy raped by a guy.

He was striped and forced to be a toy to John's pleasure.

After half an hour, S was left on the toilet floor. Soaked and destroyed by the tragedy that happened.

Till this day he have nightmares. However, S didn't blame all the gay guys out there. He just blamed John.

S is know a happy smiling teen but he still have nightmares about the incident. Nightmares that disturbs his sleep.

The lesson he wants to share is that if anyone have ever experienced this sort of thing, be strong. you're not alone so be strong...

P/S: Thanks S for letting me write this story.

My middle name means The Substitute

Hey there... For most of you out there you might have known about my other name but I'm here to right about my middle name: James.. It means the Supplanter.... The Substitute.. And in this tale, I bear that meaning quite well

Recently I've became close to a person... For me it's close XD. The person, let's call her/him S. S is a nice friend. However, it started when S's friend left for another school... I could positively say that they were close. REALLY CLOSE XD.. And I accpeted S's friendliness although it has its own rocky start.. In time we came close to each other but then in every time S would compare me to that old friend... Always comparing me with him.. I guess there's no telling that I'm actually sad about that XD

S is somewhat oblivious to his surrounding although S denies it. I guess that's why S could never tell when I was hurt or sad. Hmm.. But my middle name is James so I guess all along I was always meant to be just the Substitute XD. I wish I could change my destiny... I Don't Wanna be the Substitute... I want to be the real deal to you. I guess I was wrong..

:I won't tell S this but it does seems stupid of me to be jealous of this fact.... S  and that old friend had been friends since they were young but I've only known S for about 3 years.....

In the end I would just be a forgotten memory again. Another substitute till I'm no longer needed. I should be grateful to have a friend like S. I will be S's loyal friend till the time comes when I'm no longer needed as S's friend XD

Meow I love this drawing... no relevance to post

The Stray, The Cat and The Puppy...

As I gazed back at what had happen in my life, it just kept bringing me down, destroying me to pieces like shattered glass that couldn't be reassembled back no matter what type of glue they decided to use on me. I was left as an outcast my whole life. A True Stray Dog as they might say. No matter how much I tried showing kindness or reflecting happiness towards others, they would still see me as that dirty mutt.
But two person had effected me moving back her at my old turf..  They are a Cat and a Puppy and this is  the tale of how I met them and how they had helped me.

-The Stray and The Poodle

The first time I met her she was easily accepted by people unlike me. She had the ability to charm people but behind those soft paws and kind face of hers she hid a sharp claw and a fierce snarl for those who'd threaten her. She is just like a cat. The domestic kind that people could very easily be charmed by but at the same time could fool people for daring to cross her.

As a cat, it's natural for her to hate a stray like me. That happened for like a few weeks when we first met until I've learnt that the poodle was nothing more but the same as me. We have the same family background and she hid that fact really well by being herself where as I have to be an outcast to hid that fact. However, we clicked in the end and that was all I could say about that. We stayed friends for 7 years now. Even when I had to go on to another place, we would never lost contact of one another and would keep ourselves up to date. That's the story of how I met the Cat and this is how she had helped me after I had a rough patch in life;

She's a fierce feline. However, she's a fierce and caring feline

-She was one of the only friends I would trust with my secrets. In truth, she knows everything about me even about my past. She knew me so well to even tell when I'm sad whilst I was smiling in front of everyone. Whenever that happened, she would just be there to listen to me and advice me. When I'm doing something wrong then she would actually beat me up. She's a fierce feline. However, she's a fierce and caring feline.  It's a wonder how we'd ended up being friends since we're worlds apart but I'm glad we did.


-The Stray and The Puppy


Actually, I didn't remember when I had first met him but he does. One of his friends dragged him up to join a competition and it was an interview, more like a try out. It was a spelling competition try out and I was there being the one who checked everyone's fault. Sniffing their weaknesses like a true stray. XD I had nothing much to say about him cause he's a puppy. An annoying puppy. But little that he knows, his annoying attitude is what actually kept me going after I moved in and trying to forget that murky past of mine. Like the Cat, he knew a lot about me but I won't allow him to know everything. I still have my Stray pride.

He is an annoying little puppy. However, little does he knows that he makes me really happy

-He is an annoying little puppy. However, little does he knows that he makes me really happy. He kept on bugging me and we would sometimes had a brawl and arguments over petty things like who's right or wrong and who's smarter or not or ridiculous things like.... It's too ridiculous to mention. But sometimes I feared that he would remind me a lot of my old brothers rather than cheering me on. I tend not to get to close to him  but I feared that I would actually hurt him one day. I just hoped that no matter what I say or do, he would be there to keep on bugging me. I would love that actually.

That's a short post on them but I won't tell you guys who they are... Only they themselves knows that. XD But if they've known this then I would just want to apologize if I did anything. Soon enough, I would have to face my past and those who I wanted to forget again and at that moment, it would be nice if they're with me. XD

-RJO

Life Under The Happy Mask

I  was a student from a boarding school and after a turn of event, I've decided to rejoin my old school.
I am a child of wrong conscience and I was never quiet understood by those of my age. I would always remember what had happened to me. The twist and turns and also the ups and down of a turn of event. I could never forget the betrayal of those I once called friends and I would never forgive.

 Call me cruel but things that happened to me causes me to be like this.

         Though I did move, I could never forget them. Trails of reminder remained in my life. Friends who looked the same as the old ones are also a reminder  of my dark and murky past. In this school I have tons of new friends and tons of fun along with some old friends. However, no matter how I tried turning my face from reality, I could never forget.

Unlike my friend, I could never forget easily

I somehow felt the different aspect of my lifestyle might had led to this. I could care a lot about someone but in the end I've always expected betrayal from them..

As painful as it is to me, I had to say 

                                                           Good Bye...

He reminded me of my adopted brothers.
She reminded me of my girl,

And it's nothing but pain. Growing and throbbing in my heart like shredded paper torn ed up by the blades of remembrance.

I don't want that anymore....I want to be free... No matter how much they brought me happiness, I have to forget and let them all go. This is my resolution and this is my will.

Today, I will be free from the past. Thanks for everything you guys gave me but I gotta let go right? Haha
XD

Thanks Hakeem and Syafiq for everything. I had fn being your big bro but I gotta let go. XD

Bye2 2012 Hello 2013~~~~

2012, It's been a rough life with the challenges I have faced. Many things had nearly broke my spirit though some had. However, no matter what I always took myself up and I hold my stand. I did some mistakes throughout the year *Heck, I'm human and everyone does mistakes*

A few of my mistakes: Wrong decisions, choices, judgements * that impact events in my life severely* and wrong enemies I suppose? Arguments that led to rivalries and mortal ENEMIES. Hurting my friends *emotionally or physically* I'm sorry. There are tons of others I suppose but I couldn't recall all of it.

With mistakes that I've made this year and all the wrong choices I've made, I've never thought of this one thing as a mistake: Moving to SESTA *Tapah's Science School*. Yes, it have it moments but hey that's life in a boarding school. The ups and downs is to prepare us for real life someday. The days when we'll be leaders of the world. The successors of great men and women alike. That's what boarding school is preparing us for.

And because of these trials, I've managed to accomplish a few things in that school as well.

My achievements this year;

1.Working in the prefect board with great friends and leaders XD Under my two big bosses. The fatherly, Adli Yusuf *Dili* and the motherly, Diyana Nasiha *Didi or Diana*



2. Working in Badar with my fellow comrades.

3. Made great friends and managed to keep in touch with old cool onesXD!!~~

Old Besties:

 Haizal : Whom managed to elude any pictures taken.. Though I found some but I would like to keep tht private

Amelia: The beautiful and hilarious girl.

and of course a tons of others..

New besties: *Just gonna put pictures cause too lazy to type.*

 The trios of weirdos... I supposed, Me, Zul And Shakif..NAzmi, is not in this pic hmm... Add up to that, there's also Fifi, Azra, Nura, Nazri, Faka< and a few others whose pictures are not with me though... But they are my new besties including The Ixorians 4 class of 2012

A few members of the Ixorians 4 2012

Start a New:

With all that wraps up, what is there to expect for 2013?

Well, for me are new life, challenges, places and friends and foes that I have to face. In addition to that, I'll be 17 and at tht age, here in Malaysia, I would face the biggest exam in my life which is SPM (Malaysian Education Certificate) and finally graduated from Secondary School!! WOO HOO!! CAN'T WAIT!! Hope things would be okay next year.

I know it would be easier cause among all the things I've achieved during this year, I've achieved one very special thing; Self-Discovery. That will help me throughout the year.

Not more than ordinary

Well its been a not more than ordinary day.... Me and my family went to ikea and it was like a zoo. The place was stacked with people.... I hate crowded places.

We went there to buy a sofa bed for my mom during her maternity leave.*yes she's pregnant and her due date is in 3 month*... i wanted a little boy but it was confirmed that i will have a baby sister. Dont ask why I want a  baby boy.

Starting a New

Like everyone else I too have a new year resolution... It's just that I didn't expect myself to write a blog... My resolution is to be more serious and matured. Everyone seems to think that I am childish but they are not aware that I do so to protect myself from getting hurt by others or other getting hurt by me... The characters in this blog will be real but their name will be altered to protect he/she whom is my victim.... People tend to believe that every answer is in plain sight, well they are nearly correct... Some answers is hidden in plain sight while others are hidden inside...  I guess thats all... Sinci this is my first blog can anyone tell me what to do next>>